Smile

I wanted to write this for a couple of weeks now. But just could not get a start in mind. But then atop the tallest structure in Coba inspiration struck and my poem was complete :)

Sitting atop an ancient pyramid I pondered.
To beat this view, it will take while
So wrong was I as moments later, beside me,
I saw a kid with the largest smile

The sense of wonder you mind can only capture
when it records faces that mirror a similar rapture
Memorable moments do not a smile make
A brilliant smile infact, is what gives them a memorable take

A parent's proud smile on your graduation day
Or your smile of accomplishment with your first pay

The shy smile of girl on her first date
Or the wry understanding smile of your best mate

The sad smile when your plans sort of tank
Or the devious smirk of a well accomplised prank

The conspiratory smile of a secret that supposed to be kept sush
Or colons and brackets that give your chat the emotional push

The toothless smile of an enamoured little child
Or the carefree laughter of a kid who is just wild

Every smile has its special place in our heart
To cause them, should make you proud of your part
Sometimes these smiles do not get their deserved credit
It can make someone's day, when without reason you smile a little bit

Never underestimate the importance of a charming smile
They are all noted, when people make your file
Sometimes, a smile might be hard to come by
It's easy though, after all, it takes very few muscles to try :)

Traditions

Traditions. We all have them. Some we like while some annoy us. Some that we religiously follow and some that we just want to get done wit. They are part of almost everyone's life. It's one of those human experiences that is hard to escape. Traditions are generally defined as experiences that are past on from one person to another. These usually have a religious and cultural connotation to them. These are not the kind of traditions I want to talk about though. No. What I want to talk about are traditions that are personal. That are usually platforms for discussing our present and threads to our past whether good or bad. Traditions that are not handed over but created by us and for us using the people and things around us.

Recently, I had another visit from my parents from India. This was the second time in 2 years. I think in hindsight its because of frequent visits of family, that maybe I don't feel that strong an urge to go back as soon as possible. I think I get the necessary recharge from time to time :). Since parents and cousins were all around we  decided to call the grandparents back in home. After each one had had their fill of conversation we kept the phone down and discussion was shifted somewhere else.

My mind though stayed back to my grandparents. Its no secret that my grandparent's town is one of my favorites. Countless summers lazing and playing around a certain place does tend to create a bond. Speaking of my grandparents, one thing about my grandparent needs mention for this discussion. My grandfather, who works around the house at an age well past 80 is probably the most hard working and no- nonsense people I have seen in my relatively short life. He has always been a shining example and inspiration for hard work and good work ethic. Though another thing that has struck with me through the years is the weekly card games my grandfather plays with his friends. Every Sunday, without fail, for the past 60 plus years the half dozen friends get together and play cards!!! This activity has outlasted all kinds of achievements in each of their lives. Jobs, marriage, children, grandkids and great grandkids. In case of some of the players the game has even outlasted their entire life. Now after 60 odd years, some of the players aren't even alive. But still the games continue, every Sunday, without fail. This is the sort of tradition I want to talk to about.

Its a funny thing with constants in life. Even though we change all the time, these constants remain the same. Traditions which I want to talk about fall under the same category. Though they never change, our perception of them changes over time. When I was young, I could not understand why my grandfather, who did not like wasting a single minute, used to spend so much time doing practically nothing. I grew up a little more then I reveled in the fact that atleast there is a lighter side to my grandfather. I grew up a little more and then I was in awe of this endeavor. For me to be able to do something continuously for so many years, come hail or rain was exemplary. It was amazing how these group of friends managed to keep their small tradition alive for so long. No matter how much their lives changed, they all came back to this constant once every week. Why come back though? That is something my then teenage mind could not answer. Was it habit? Was it lack of creativity to do something else? Was there some real sense behind it all?

Now as we kids in the family have all grown up and went our own way. As we have moved away from each other and our friends, our constants, I think I finally realize the sense behind the trivial exercise. I realize the drive behind keeping it going for more than half a century. Its probably not an intense love for card games ;). It probably is preservation of that constant, that is a recurring reminder of good times and a platform to share more of their lives with each other. A platform to share troubles and joys as these emotions enter and leave their lives all the while under the pretense of a silly game. A simple yet effective solution.

When I said these thoughts out loud I was told that it was probably easy for my grand father to do this. That since they all stayed not far away and even though they achieved success individually they were still within visiting distance that it was possible. I had to disagree though. Now, in this day and age with all the technology that we have to play with, I feel its even easier for us to implement these simple solutions in our lives. I don't think distance and time are adequate enough excuses for us. With every second in this rapidly changing world our excuse sounds lamer and lamer. We have more ways to implement such simple solutions that there ever was.

Its probably why my grandfather, even at an age of above 80 is never bored, but we are bored, sad, depressed at quarter that age. I think it would serve us well to cultivate such traditions too. Something trivial, something simple to keep us connected, to maintain our constants.

The Eureka moment

Eureka!! A word associated with an idea. With discovery. With finding something that was around you all along but suddenly made sense to you only now. But I am not interested in scientific achievements over here. No. This one is personal. Just like the novel thoughtas that often changes ways of life, in personal life there are occasions when there is sudden realization on your part. A point in time when everything just suddenly made sense. A realization which you feel is going to help for the rest of your life. We all probably have many of these moments. But some just rank out over others. It could be because of who caused it or when was it or simply because it had the most impact.

Out of many such moments in my life I think one stands out the most. Being so thin for so long now I have gotten use to the frequent light hearted jibes. People always confirm with me (or atleast the decent ones do) as whether I am getting offended or not. I quite simply give them a smile and say no matter and truly those jibes have long since lost their effect on me.

I think a particular conversation in my life is the most profound reason for this acceptance than I now portray. While still back in 9th grade I was walking back from school to the bus stop with a friend I have long since lost touch with. Till then you could say, the teasing really did affect me. It saddened me, annoyed me sometimes it irritated me. We were in quite a jolly mood. As was his custom he was busy with his good natured jibes about my weight. Quite suddenly with an insight that I did not expect from him, he asked me whether the constant teasing bothered me. I too quite maturely for my 14 year old self I must say replied by asking that would they stop if I said YES it did bother me. He looked at me, gave a nice laugh and said no way. That was it. Then we went back to mundane conversations. I don't think he would even remember it now. But I did. I realized that a simple conversation we had was so sensible beyond belief. To my 14 year old self that was the EUREKA moment.

Ever since the realization that day, the ignorance to these jibes has improved and their effect has become almost non existent. So I ask you now? Tell me about your biggest EUREKA moment? Some train of thought or way of working that just simplified your life manyfold.

Concept of Relativity

Epiphany. Big word. Its usually associated with a huge realization too. Something that just puts pieces into place. Something that just completes a set thoughts that seemed unrelated just a moment ago. Sometimes it just rotates the whole thought process in the opposite direction. When you have friends that are much smarter than you, these epiphanies are a more common occurrence. You talk to them thinking you would popose your novel way of thinking and they listen to you and reply in the same discussion vein without even the slightest realization that what they just told you in normal conversation just turned your way of thinking on its head or atleast gave it a nice spin.

But why am I talking about epiphanies when the topic is relativity. I suppose I should start the story. Ever since I was a kid I have always been on the leaner side. Pretty soon I was at the bottom of the pile among my friends when it came to the kilogram scale. Now I will not romanticize the the fact of being the leanest in a group. Its seldom fun. But what it did do was to give me the opportunity to see a unique phenomena. Well I guess its not unique but you only get to see it at the bottom of a chain. The person just above you always finds solace in the fact that he is second from last. That he is not the bottom of the pile. Every new group of people I met, the second leanest person always was the one who pointed out my lack of fat more than any other. I guess they found relief in my misery (or atleast that's what they convinced themselves). As I grew older, this became a more visible pattern and I observed it in other walks of life too. People somehow are always relieved if they are not last. Even though technically they are no good but they find relief in besting atleast some others. My emotions towards these folk changed from annoyance to irritation to finally pity as I grew older.

But, I think somewhere along the line we all develop this concept of relativity. If we don't do very well in an endeavor then we look at other who did not do well either and gain solace from their misery. I think somewhere along the line though, even after being a part of such interactions for ever I too developed a similar concept. I called it the concept of relativity. I would very sagely say to anyone who would hear that circumstances are always relative. There is always someone better or worse. You can look towards any of them depending on how you want to feel about your situation.

This is where the epiphany part comes in. When traveling by train with a very good friend we were discussing academics and personal life. Even though I was bombing academically, when you combined it with personal happiness I was doing a lot better than many of my counter parts who were miserable personally inspite of good grades. I started explaining how atleast I was taking full advantage of my time to have adequate fun as compared to others who were just sitting and complaining. I was all ready to propose my concept of relativity again. But she had been listening to my rant like she usually does and then talked about one of her experiences. She told about her conversation with a person with no legs and how difficult it must be. But, the guy replied atleast I don't suck like the ones who have no legs and feet. Imagine how much it would suck to be them. Suffice it to say my friend was aghast at that attitude. She very simply asked me if maybe I was doing the same thing. If maybe I was the guy with no legs who still thought atleast he was better than a person with no limbs at all. I replied by saying that I was comparing myself with others not to feel better because of their misery but because I wanted to not be like them. For me it was about motivation rather than wallowing in shared misery. It was one of those moments when you yourself realize you have said something really smart. She thought so too I guess because she actually wrote my rohanism down ;).

But this is what your smart friends do to you. They extract these insightful thoughts out of you, but still leave you with doubts. But this is what I relish. This is what I feel is the best part about having them around. Life would be so much simpler if you were surrounded by people as dumb as as yourself. But smarter ones make life interesting. They challenge and disagree with your way of thinking without intending too. That conversation left me in a similar place. Even though I seemed to have convinced my friend, I wasn't sure I had convinced myself.

But, the great thing about that conversation is that ever since that day, I have pretty much abandoned my silly concept of relativity. Now every time I compare myself in a situation, I take a moment to figure out the reasons for which I am doing it. Ever since that day, I have tried to follow that smart rohanism I uttered out of nowhere. For the most part, it has helped :)

Summer vacation syndrome

I like analogies. I love drawing parallels in life. Compare one stage with another. Find something in common in two completely different walks of your own life or others. To see how as we change we still remain the same. Friends say its an annoying habit of drawing analogies between seemingly disparate sources. To try and explain every occurrence I see by comparing it to something totally mundane and unrelated. As if it's a self trained mechanism to automatically explain things to myself that might seem out of the scope of my knowledge base.

One thing I have observed with a lot of friends as they have moved away from home for jobs or studies is the sudden onset of loneliness. The feeling of boredom that apparently never bothered them before. Its even more apparent in those that have moved away temporarily with no friends or family. Its like they are on a summer break from school. Only difference is the time of summer break is too long or short depending on the individual in question. They seem to be bitten by the summer vacation syndrome.

To understand this better, roll back that memory film and pause it during your school days. Summer time was what every one eagerly awaited. But which then started to drag towards the middle and then felt like should never end near the end. No schools. No work. Just relaxation and play. But everyone had a different summer. Some visited their relatives. Some spent days with their friends. Some even attended summer camp. Anything different from the routine of classes. But then sometimes friends traveled when you wanted to play. You got stuck with relatives that annoyed you. Some dreaded that summer camp that they would be attending without friends and no family.

As we grew older the classes became longer and the vacations shorter. We became used to spending time in
the classroom. We enjoyed it actually. So much so that during vacations we missed the countless pointless hours spent with friends. Though you could meet them, it just wasn't the same. Those who genuinely liked work got bored out of their minds. But most generally realised the classroom was the best place to hang out ;). Then vacations just became about catching up on pending things in personal life or catching up with relatives who by now had become less and less frequent equations in your schedule.

Then you go onto work and there are no vacations anymore. Its just work, family and friends. But then some of us get that summer vacation. We get sent away from family and friends. Just like that summer camp when we were kids. Its still the same feeling irrespective of your considerable gain in life experiences, its still something that will benefit you but you would rather stick with friends back home. Its still something that presents new opportunities to learn to grow but which also carries the potential of being friendless and boring.

But our mind by now is hardwired on how to handle summer vacations. We develop hobbies to spend our time. Make new friends. Just like that summer camp when we were kids. We find things to do that we hang onto for rest of our lives. Sometimes we bump into friendships that too last forever long.

But just like summer camps, these phases in life end too. So if you are one of the people who are waiting for it to end it will end sooner than you know. Those who actually flourish in a summer camp situation, well this one is better because it does not need to end like the camps from your childhood.

Another cool page

Here is another blog I visit. It's less a blog but a story in progress. Though it may not look like a best seller to many I have read enough independent stuff on the web to know its pretty decent. If you think chapters are short, then try writing one (trust me I have ;)) .

As to what the story is about you can read the author's FAQ section. It's much better explained over there.
http://1point059.wordpress.com/

Block

It's been a long time since I posted anything in this space. What can I say? I could blame my courses that have finally caught up to me. Or I could blame my classmates in the boring lecture that just isn't as boring anymore because of them. Maybe I finally developed some interest in my studies...probably not it though :P.

No matter my excuses, the dilema that stares me in the face is that I am in the middle of a big time writers block. Atleast by my standards anyways. One of my fellow blogger smartly pointed out that it was only natural I would run out of topics to talk about. He sagely mentioned that it was foolish of me to expect to be prolific for such a long time. I suppose he was right. But I guess I m faced with a problem that is really common among people who partake in artistic/creative endeavors. There are times when we will be faced with a block in our creativity. Maybe we get busy, maybe life interferes. Maybe we are just scared that what have to write will just not compare to what we have written already.

But, I wasn't worried. I found solace in this wonderful TED video which just took the pressure of me.
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html
The speaker reiterates that maybe we should not put so much pressure on our creative genius after all. Don't make it about you. Refer to ancient wisdom. Do it like the Greeks did. Attribute your genius to an outside non tangible entity. So start believing the genius is not about you but because of this entity that visits you from time to time. Then not getting that eureka moment all the time isn't as much of a downer anymore.

I want to expand this same concept. Attribute not only you genius but your entire creative spark to this entity. We all worry about it. When will we write our next song. When will I write my next poem, my next story the list goes on. Will I ever do as well in a future course as I did in my first one. Will I top my class again. Will I remain as impressive with my work as I started of as. Will I make the same cool friends in this new place I am at? Will I make friends at all??

The trick I think is to not make it about you. To keep doing the things you usually do. Be yourself. To not let lack of inspiration change your way of approaching your life. Make it about that unseen entity that will come around to you eventually. You just keep crossing the same paths waiting to bump into it from time to time. So keep being yourself when you meet new people. Keep showing up to work. Keep studying the way you always did at your courses. You will do well given enough time. Life turns a full circle all the time. The way we think is usually half the battle and this part of the battle we have complete control over.

So thats what I will do. I will always keep my fingers on my laptop in that boring lecture ;). I will still keep that last grocery receipt and pen in my jacket everytime travelling in a bus or a train. Who knows when the unseen entity shows up and I need to write :)

Some other pages

Here are some other blogs I read. All unique and having their own flavor. Maybe you will find something to your liking in one of these pages.

http://myfeelings-intuit.blogspot.com/

http://craptalksunlimited.blogspot.com/

http://darshanmehtaworth.blogspot.com/

http://mkk5001.blogspot.com/

I am hoping I have the permission from all the authors to publish their links and no copyright infringements are being made over here :).